Innocence and Insanity
by Kodoku mousou
Summary: Roger's innocence was stolen, then his sanity was taken with it. Post island, oneshot, JackRoger, Roger's POV


**Innocence and Insanity**

There were too many people to count when we finally reached London. There had to be hundreds of people waiting for their lost child. Ok, maybe not hundreds. I followed the crowd of children off the ship. Some of them still looked so innocent. So oblivious to the real world. Their eyes held nothing but joy. It was like they had never even been on the island.

I had looked in a mirror for the first time in what felt like forever shortly after we boarded the ship. My eyes were so sharp, I thought my gaze would have shattered the glass. I scared myself, how evil I looked. Now I understood just how scared the rest of them were. It seemed as if my reflection would reach up at anytime and strangle me mercilessly. Kind of ironic, really, I fear nothing but my own shadow. My eyes held none of that joy, only bloodlust. My smile held no sincerity, unless it was stretched farther into a smirk.

I envied them. I wish I could be like the rest of them. Even Jack looks innocent. I doubt he's lost all his savagery. But at least he can mask it. I, however, am a savage, and everyone knows it. Anyone who looks at me can see the malice and sadism I hold. I hate it. I hate myself. I hate the thief who stole everything from. The little bit of purity I had left. I hate the Lord of the Flies. The beast inside all of us. He did it! He did it all! He took it all away! It's all his fault! I'm merely an innocent victim! I am innocent!

_Don't kid yourself Roger. I've always been here. You just never knew it until I had a tangible form. Though I am quite surprised and amused that I had become a pig's head on a stick. You foolish children could've thought of something better, right? Such a shame…_

No. No one is inside my head. I have to find my parents.

_After what you've become, do you really think they want you? _

I haven't changed. Of course they still want me.

_I'll bet they're wishing you died on the island. They probably didn't even come to get you._

Stupid voice. My mum's likely bawling here eyes out. Both my parents will be glad to see me. See? That lady over there looks like my mother. Not crying, but she's looking. Looking for me.

_Are you going to go embrace her and hope she gives love back? No I'm sure she will. She's also going to give you a kiss and tell you how much she's missed you and she's just soooo glad that you're back. Can you here the sarcasm yet? That might not even be your mother._

Just be quiet you fucked up little monster that's stuck in my head. Just go away.

_Sorry, can't do that. I'm a part of you. And right now, I seem to be the dominating part. Lucky you, you have a war inside your head for the rest of your life! I wish I could be just like you. With a voice stuck in my head. The world is so unfair to me these days. Don't you-_

Just SHUT UP!

I ran to the edge of the water. I glanced around for anyone who could help. Anyone who could help me bring my innocence, or at least my sanity, back. I saw Jack looking over at me. When my gaze met his, he immediately turned away.

_You want your sanity back? When did you ever have it?_

GO AWAY!

_Roger's insane! Not only is he hearing voices, but he's speaking back to them! Hahaha!_

LEAVE ME ALONE!

_Are you going to cry now? Show the whole world just how weak you are! Go on, do it!_

FUCK OFF!

_Tsk, tsk. Such horrid language. You shouldn't speak to people like that._

GET OUT OF MY HEAD!

I took a step back, ready to jump. The pier was at least ten feet up from the water. The waves licked up the concrete poles, daring me to plunge into the sun-bathed water. At this point, I am willing to take that dare. I can't live like this. I can't spend another minute with this.

_JUMP! JUMP! JUMP!_

I took in one last whiff a salt-filled air, before I prepared to take my last step. I was just a step away from drowning. Slowly, hesitantly, I picked up my foot and I was just a second from walking off the pier. That is, until I felt an arm grab me and pull me into an embrace I've been waiting so long for. A familiar voice whispered in my ear, "Don't go Roger. Don't leave me." It was Jack. Despite my surprise, I squeezed him as hard as I could. "I won't." I replied. After that, I never heard the terrible voice of the beast again.

A/N Wow. That ended as a total sap story. Oh well, for once I actually liked something I did. I guess when I said that I'd be doing more JackRoger oneshots, that just meant more often than chapters. Oh well, hopefully I'll get more ideas and even better stories. Thanx to all my loyal reviewers and keep reviewing, I want your opinions and ideas!


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